First message

26. 5. 2016

Have you found a nice person but feel shy about making that first all-important contact? We know how difficult it can be when making a first contact via an online dating site and this is why we have prepared a few tips. Why fight with your imagined fears when making a first contact?
In the same way that you can search through many profiles, your selected match can do the same and, because of this, perhaps he or she still hasn’t discovered you. However, when you twinkle this person, you can be sure that he or she will notice you. A twinkle is very important, for without this heads-up how would people hit upon your profile when there are so many to look through?
Someone accepts your twinkle and twinkles you back – so now it’s time to send a friend’s request. With a friend’s request you can make contact and read more details about the person you have selected. Via a friend’s request on our dating site you can write a short message, perhaps something that will help initiate a conversation. Your friend’s request is accepted and it’s time to send the first message. This should always be a kind, friendly message without political, religious, or professional opinions. When writing your first message, remember to be polite. You know nothing about your contact, and he or she knows nothing about you. However, there’s no need to be afraid of sending your first message – there are many topics you can refer to.

What to talk about in first message?

If you need to find something to write about, search through your contact’s profile and pictures, this should give you some idea about a subject to discuss. For example: if you notice some pictures that feature a dog, you can ask if it belongs to your contact and then discuss what kind of dog it is. Or, if you see a picture of someone skiing on mountains, you can ask your contact if he or she loves skiing and where they like to go? You can do the same if there’s a photo depicting someone cooking a meal, or walking along a beach: there are many variations and they will all give you many ideas about topics of interest

  • When you have selected something to write about, the first part of the message should contain an “open question”- this helps to start the dialogue. Open questions kick off with: how, why, with whom, how long, what, and whose? They will help you communicate more fully about a chosen theme and they won’t necessarily result in short answers, such as YES or NO. If you use questions which start with a verb, you will always get short, closed-type answers: YES or NO. So if you want to keep the communication going as long as possible, use “open questions”.
  • It’s easy to make a compliment, and using the right compliment can help you break the ice. If you’d like to write something pleasant, you can probably find an inspiration within the profile pictures of your match. Therefore, choose one or two pictures that you like and tell your contact why you like them. You’ll be very popular when you write something complimentary. And it’s also a good idea to ask questions about something you might find interesting in your contact’s profile.
  • Whether male or female, you should always initiate a contact in a “polite’’ manner. This means you could start by writing: ”Hello Nikki! Thank you for responding to my request, which I sent you because I noticed we have something in common. (This could be used when, for example, you see that your contact’s profile lists a hobby that you also like).
  • This first message is your initial form of contact. It’s important and should therefore be positive, so as to open the way for the next conversation.
  • Include information about yourself, your hobbies, and how you prefer to spend your free time. Ideally, your hobbies, etc., will be the same as, or close to those of your chosen match. Remember that these types of themes are usually the easiest to write about or discuss.
  • Your first message should be short. Because you don’t know much about your contact, you’ll have to ask questions – but not too many. A short message is always more practical. When you get positive feedback, perhaps then you can write longer messages. After a few more emails, you may find yourself ready to suggest a call.

For more informations you can join also another tips from our blog.

Good luck! ;)

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